A New Chapter

Dear Oliver and Charlie,

When you were very little- Oliver, until you were three-and-a-half, and Charlie, until you were 14 months- Mommy worked very hard at a job she loved very much.  It was a very important job; I was a nurse, and I took care of children who were very, very sick.  I made them feel better, and I made their mommies and daddies feel better too by taking care of them.  During the week, you were cared for by a very special family who took very good care of you and who loved you very much.  They helped you learn and grow, and took you all kinds of places.  You made very good friends there, too. 

Mommy started working harder and harder at her job, because there were a lot of kids that needed taking care of.  After you went to bed, Mommy worked, often until her own bedtime.  In the morning, sometimes she worked a little before she dropped you off at daycare.  Sometimes she was even on the phone on a meeting when she was getting you strapped into your carseats.  Mommy became very tired, and was often very crabby because of it.  You see, when you take care of other people, especially when they are very sick, you need to take care of yourself, too, otherwise you get very cranky and cry a lot.  Your have a very, very good Daddy.  He listened to Mommy cry a lot when she worked too much like this.  Your Daddy also took care of you when Mommy had to work on the weekends. 

I wanted very much to stay at home with you on these weekends, and I also thought about how great it would be if I could be home every day with you.  But those sick children needed Mommy, too.  It's hard to understand this now, but some mommies and daddies are nicer at home when they are able to work a little, too.  Mommy's a little bit like this, in some ways.  And so Mommy kept working.

One day, Mommy was tired of crying.  She was also very tired of being tired and mad at different things.  Most of all, she was tired of missing you, and of having to walk away from you on Saturday and Sunday mornings to go to work, after she had worked all week.  Daddy missed Mommy being around, too. So Mommy decided to stop working and trust that God would find out something else for her to do.

The day Mommy decided to stop working, she was talking with her friend about her little girl and little boy, who are the same ages as you.  They needed someone to take care of them while their mommy and daddy worked.  And so it was decided that I could stay home with you, every day, along with our new special friends.  Mommy also found a job that she could go to just once in a while, a couple days a month on the weekends, taking care of  old people who are very sick.  Those people live in a house full of very nice people who all help take care of them and make them feel better.  So Mommy still gets to be a nurse, but just sometimes instead of almost all the time.

And so this is how God fixed things.  He helped Mommy make very brave and important decisions and made it so she could stay home with her favorite people in the world: you.  And Daddy!  Because Daddy's job changed a little, too.  He decided to work in the afternoon so that he can be with us for the first half of every day.  Always remember that God is faithful like this, and fixes everything up for good - even when we can't see a solution.  We might cry a lot first, but He does always make it better.

Oliver, I am sorry that I missed your first steps when I was working late one night.  Charlie, I am sorry that I missed your first tooth, crawl, and exersaucer escape when I was out of town at a work conference.  I feel very sad about things like this.  But please know that while you weren't always right next to me, I held you in my heart the whole time.  By letting me work, you also helped make those sick children feel better.  I can't wait to spend each day with you now.  Oliver, I get to bring you to preschool.  Charlie, I won't miss your first steps, or your first words.  I love you both to the moon and back, and I can't wait to see what you teach me in the coming years.

So here we are at our next chapter.  Let's begin.