Standing Still

I'm having a hard time standing still lately.  When I decided to stay at home with the boys full time, I thought things would slow down.  I thought I'd be able to take my time Christmas shopping.  I thought I'd be more organized.  Heck, I thought I'd have my Christmas shopping done three months ago.  But I find myself nervously writing out plans for who has been shopped for, what errands I still need to run, and what projects need initiating.  I am scattered enough to have misplaced $100 that Michael cashed today within an hour of receiving it.  I thought we'd be less busy; but every weekend in December has been completely full with commitments since the first week of November.  I need things to slow down; and yet, I'm looking forward to a quieter January.

Today I found myself standing still in the baby supply aisle at Target.  I needed a booster seat for Charlie, who has very much outgrown his highchair-type seat and as of two days ago absolutely refuses to sit in it.  Speeding along the aisles, checking things off systematically on my grocery list, I turned into the baby section and stopped.  This, I realized, was probably the last time I'd ever need anything in this aisle for my children.  No more bottles, pacifiers, baby monitors, or onesies.  Just the booster seat, and we're done.  It took me close to five minutes to bend down, pick up the seat, put it in my cart and turn around.  I want this all to stand still, just for a little while longer. 

Charlie will be two this month. He's growing, developing, and turning the world upside down (while shaking it vigorously) as quickly as December seems to be moving.  My sweet Charlie, I can't ask time to stand still, and I can't ask that of you, either.  But please, try not to grow up too fast; for I don't think I will ever be ready.