Perspective

Our dear friends Chris and Kara came over last night to bring us dinner, do our dishes, and mow our lawn. Oh, and to meet the baby. They also brought with a bit of perspective. Kara walked through the door, looked at me and just said, "you're a mother!"

Oliver was born 4 weeks ago today. I have been a mother for a month. But it's funny how sometimes it takes a while for a role to sink in.

One of the great initiations of motherhood happened this afternoon. My Dad had taken us out for a picnic lunch, and upon our return home we left Oliver fast asleep in his carseat. But just as the front door shut behind my Dad, Ollie woke up and I started to reach for him. And then I stopped. Poop. Everywhere. (Ahem. His, not mine).

One of my favorite quotes from my husband involves poop. The first time Oliver spit up on Michael, my dear hubby was bemoaning the fact that it had occured on his favorite shirt. I was quick to explain to Michael that he will no longer have any favorite shirts as they will all be spit-up on. "But just you wait," I said, "until it happens with poop." "What!?" Michael exclaimed in honest cluelessness. "That's what diapers are for, to keep that stuff in!" Oh, the things he has to learn.

The carseat has washable surfaces, but when it gets onto each of the five points on the harness and underneath each buckle, one begins to understand that surfaces can be cleaned. Beneath surfaces are a bit more challenging.

I had a sense of humor; Oliver, poor, red-faced, screaming Oliver who got his second bath in 18 hours, did not. In the aftermath of Johnson & Johnson's and a new outfit, I cuddled my sweet-smelling son, rocked him, and walked out onto the porch. On the way out the door, I caught my reflection in the foyer mirror, and stopped. As I held my comforted son in my arms, I saw it. Me, as a mother.

It's funny how different your own child looks in someone else's embrace. When Oliver is in my arms, I study every little detail of his cherub face. His face becomes bigger, almost. Those cheeks, dimples, turned-up nose, and blue eyes- one just slightly bigger than the other- fill up my line of vision. His is big, as here at home with me all day, he becomes my world. When Chris and Kara took turns holding him yesterday, Michael and I marveled that although Ollie has gained a pound in a week, he is still so little. We just don't see it when he's cradled into our arms and taking up so much space in our hearts.

My eyes are opening wider every day to see our son in different ways. Here is what I saw this week.

Happy 1-month birthday, Oliver. I love you.