The Elephant in the Room

Oliver's first day in the hospital, I walked down to the main level of the hospital and found myself in the gift shop. I have walked past this over-priced little store countless times in the 9 years I've worked for Children's. On this day, I felt an urge to get something really special for my little boy who was having a hard time breathing. I wanted to get him everything in the world, really. But I set out for something that I knew he'd like. He has been into tags lately, like those books and stuffed animals called "Taggies" that have little bits of ribbon sewn on for little hands to explore. He also likes things that crinkle.

And so I found the perfect little something, a blue elephant Taggie, with feet that crinkle. It was a ridiculous $24. But on this day, I really didn't care. I picked out the most sparkley mylar baloon and set it alongside the elephant to buy for my son.

I was right: Oliver really likes it.Mr. Elephant sports about 10 brightly-colored ribbon tags. Each has a different pattern and color, making the expensive toy visually tantalizing. But $24 later, which tag do you think Oliver is always playing with?

The label. Yes, apparently the bland white tag explaining how to surface-wash only is much more stimulating than anything hot-pink or squiggly. I could have given him a throw pillow to play with and he would have been just as happy.

I know better. It's common knowledge that any kid would rather play with the box the toy came in than the toy itself. For proof, see this picture, taken just after I made Oliver pose with the Taggie Elephant.

That's right. He traded in his fancy stuffed animal for a shopping bag. If I stopped buying stuff that I think is cool and start giving the kid what he really wants, like empty bags, wooden spoons and wrappers, we'd probably have college tuition all saved up in a year or two. Oh well. I'll just keep shopping. Because if I didn't buy him stuff, he wouldn't have the bags to play with, now, would he?