Defining Features

It starts with the first ultrasound pictures.

"He totally has your nose."

"Yeah, he does, but he has your lips."

How fascinated we humans are with genetics.  With each baby picture shoved in front of a coworker, each family reunion or holiday party, it seems that the urge to determine who your child looks like cannot be suppressed.

When Oliver was born, most people informed me that he was "a miniature Michael."  His eyes, his large head, his blond hair....he was all Daddy.  A fair percentage, whether out of politeness or truth, would say "he is absolutely a perfect combination of both of you."  I would be lying if I said hearing that he was all Michael didn't bother me just a little.  There was part of me somewhere in this child, wasn't there?  I'd be quick to point out that Oliver has my birthmark, a little purple-y Rorschak-blot shadow sitting right between my eyebrows that shows up when I'm hot or angry (which typically happen at the same time).  And I had that reddish tint to my blond hair when I was his age, too.  How about those lips and nose?  Pretty sure they're mine.

When you have kid #2, the comparison urge expands to whether or not this baby looks like their sibling.  With Charlie, the conclusions are made with no hesitation and all confidence...but are split right down the middle.  I hear either:

"They're practically twins, aren't they?!"

or

"Wow, Charlie really does have his own unique look, doesn't he?"

 Charlie

Oliver

Charlie

Oliver

Charlie

Oliver

I think we have it figured out.  I summed it up, in my cloud of  heavy medication, when I first saw Charlie:  "Oh, he just looks like a fat Oliver."  Indeed he was a pound heavier, but has kept his round little face.  So:  eyes, lips, nose, and head size: same as Oliver's.  Face shape and hair growth: totally different.

And compared to me and Michael?

"I can totally see myself in him, more and more," Michael told me today.

"Really?" I responded.  "Because I was just thinking the same thing this week, but that I can totally see me."  After all, Charlie has inherited that birthmark. 

But I will readily admit, the boys really do look a lot like Michael.

 Not to mention that all three of them have a condition where they start sneezing when they go from indoors to outside on a sunny day.  It's called photosneezitis or something.  Like 18% of the population has it, and it's adorable.

As the boys get older, I'm fascinated to see other features, quirks, and personality traits that I recognize well.  Oliver called me into the bathroom today: "Look, Mommy!"  He was in front of the mirror, curling his tongue. 
I surprised him with exuberant hugging.  "Ollie, you can curl your tongue just like Mommy!" and we stood there making tongue-shapes for awhile.  "Did you know that Daddy can't do that?"

I'll take a tongue-curl and a birthmark.  I will also take it personally that as evidenced by some big firsts this weekend, Charlie loves to eat real food and swim.  Yes, these boys are mine.  And how lucky am I.