As Three

If one more acquaintance this week asks me when I'm having another baby, I'm going to bust a cap up on them.

I don't mind if good friends or family, like you, dear reader, ask me about our plans. I probably won't give you much of an answer anyway. But it's one thing to be respectfully curious, and another to be rudely obnoxious. Take coworkers 1 and 2, for example, who out of the blue said, "so when are you going to have your next one?" Or near-strangers 3 and 4, who asked me how many more kids I would have. All this week.

I think this is stemming from the anticipation of Oliver's first birthday next month. "How's Oliver doing?" someone will ask. After I recount the week's activities of crawling, pulling up to stand, babbling yiddish, and cutting teeth, I mention that he's turning one in a few weeks. And then they say: "Oh, wow. So when are you going to have another one?" Seriously? It's as if after his birthday, he won't be a baby any more, and therefore parenting will become suddenly easy, or even boring. He'll be able to cook meals for himself, apply for a job, and run for President. Obviously I'm going to need another baby here before long.

What is it about human nature that causes us to always be looking forward to the next step for other people? When you're dating someone, it's "Have you planned the wedding date yet?" At the bridal shower, it's "How many children are you going to have?" And now, at the first birthday, "When's number two?" Isn't life fast enough to be content with living in the present?

I'm running out of nice replies to these people, as well as blow-off replies. I'm not sharing my family planning with acquaintance-only's, and I'm a little hurt even that after going on and on about how much I love being Oliver's Mommy, I'm asked about moving forward.

For the record, yes, we plan to have more than one child. But for now, we are happy as can be as three. Besides, I can't even keep my one kid from eating toilet paper every time I turn around.