Little Squirt

Don't let that image fool you. He can be gross.

I have been warned many times over, "just you wait until around 6 months when he starts solids; then the blow-outs will start!"

Or, maybe, we only had to wait six weeks to see it.

Initially, I was happy to hear Ollie filling his pants during his feeding today. He was past-due for #2. But when I opened the gift, I found it overflowing. Awesome. Not only did the diaper contain a lake of poo, but all of a sudden I found him holding a fist-full of it, like some cheeky monkey.

I pulled out a half-dozen wipes in preparation. Half-dozen? Ha. I began to go to work, and then began to wonder where the tributary of crap ended. I lifted him up by the ankles. It was up his back, somewhere just shy of his shoulderblades. Awesome.

His outfit, an adorable little onesie featuring tiny spouting whales that were labeled "Little Squirt," was saturated. My first thought was of the irony. My second was a mental self-kicking that when we built our home, we did not include a utility sink. I used Little Squirt and the rest of the wipes to mop up most of the Big Squirt damage off of Ollie's little naked self so I could pick him up. I carried him to the swing where he would wait screaming until bath #2 in two days would be ready. He immediately spit up, all over the swing. Motherhood officially became challenging at that moment. Would there be any part of this home un-christened by body fluids by 10 am?

Oliver forgave me after the bath and dealt with his day by sleeping for 5 hours in a row. I dealt with it by wiping the house down with disinfecting wipes, and being grateful for time to scrub myself down in a very, very long shower.